Intelligo Me Intelligere
by heartlines
Summary: Post-The Goodbye Girl. Summer contemplates Seth's decision to chase after Anna. SS.


Title: Intelligo me intelligere

Summary: Post-The Goodbye Girl. Summer contemplates Seth's decision to chase after Anna. One-shot.

Author's Note: I wrote this awhile back and only got around to posting it now so please forgive the lateness. Feedback is always appreciated. : )

Summer pulled her comforter over her head and tried to ignore the heavy feeling pressing down on her chest. She had just let her boyfriend go chase after his ex-girlfriend to stop her from leaving. Summer knew it would only be a matter of time before Seth officially broke up with her now. Even after the whole coffee cart thing last week, she knew the time would eventually come.

This shouldn't be bothering her so much. She knew from the beginning that Seth Cohen was too good to be true. At least for her. Sweet, caring guys like Seth didn't exist for girls like Summer. They existed for girls like Anna, who were funny, witty, and smart. Summer had nothing to offer Seth except for her body, and he'd already gotten that. Of course it wouldn't be enough. Seth wasn't some dumb, hormonal jock, he needed more than that.

It wasn't like Summer cared, really. So what if she'd given her virginity to him? Now the painful awkward part was over and she could move on.

She just wished she could make the ache in her chest go away.

Summer pressed her eyes closed and tried to get to sleep. She wasn't going to let herself get weepy and sentimental over a boy. She had been through break-ups before, she could handle this one.

_Tap. Tap._

Summer peeked out from underneath her covers. The tapping noise was coming from her window.

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

It sounded like someone was throwing rocks at it. Summer sighed, there was only person this could be. She got up and looked out the window, sure enough Seth was standing outside.

She rolled her eyes and opened the window. "Cohen, what the hell are you doing?" She yelled down at him.

"I didn't want to ring the doorbell and wake anyone up," he yelled back.

"Nobody's home, doofus!"

"How was I supposed to know that?"

"Hold on."

Summer ran downstairs, when she opened the front door Seth was already there waiting for her.

"I tried calling your cell phone but it was off," he explained.

"It's one in the morning, Cohen," she said tiredly.

"I know. But we need to talk, well I need to talk…"

Summer closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Here it was, the "talk". He was going to break up with her now. She held the door open and gestured for him to come inside. She then led the way up to her room.

"What is it, Cohen?" Summer asked as soon as she had closed the door behind them. If Cohen was going to break up with her, he'd better make it quick. She didn't think she could take any of his babbling as to why it wasn't "right" between them and why he had to go back to Anna. If there was one thing she was determined not to do, it was cry. She would not cry in front of Seth Cohen.

"First of all, I want to say I'm sorry," Seth said. He sat down on her bed and reached out for her hands so that Summer was standing right in front of him.

Summer swallowed the lump in her throat and prepared herself for what was coming next.

"I've been acting pretty shitty towards you the past few days, and I just wanted to say I'm sorry for that. And thank you, for understanding earlier."

Summer stared at him, waiting for him to say something else. He didn't. Where was the big break-up speech?

Seth seemed pretty satisfied with his apology, because the next thing he did was tug on her hands so that she fell onto his lap.

"But…What about Anna?" Summer asked.

"She, uh, left."

"You couldn't stop her?"

"No."

Summer wrapped her arms around him. He wasn't breaking up with her, and Anna was gone. Not that she was happy that Anna was gone; she had meant it earlier when she said she was going to miss her. It's just now she feels like she could stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. Stop waiting for Seth to realize how much better Anna was than her and that he picked the wrong girl.

Summer sighed as Seth nuzzled her neck and traced small circles on her lower back. She couldn't explain the light feeling she had now that Seth was here. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she could breathe again. She couldn't explain it, didn't _want_ to explain it. It might lead to things she's not yet ready to face.

"Cohen?" Summer spoke up, breaking the comfortable silence that had enveloped them.

"Yeah?"

"If Anna had stayed….would you still be here?" She asked in a small voice that was a stark contrast to the loud, confident one she usually used.

Seth lifted his head. "Summer…" he cradled her face in his hands so that was looking him straight in the eye. "I know I've done a lot in the past few days to make you doubt my feelings for you and I'm sorry for that. But Summer, you are incredible. Being with you is hands down the best thing I have ever experienced in my life, and I know I could never replace it. Replace you. Don't ever doubt that. No matter how much of a self-absorbed idiot I can be sometimes."

Summer didn't know what to say. Seth Cohen was the only person in her life who had the ability to live down to her expectations, the only person who continually surprised her. She couldn't find the words to express what she wanted to say to him so she kissed him, gently, tenderly, and she prayed that he could _feel_ all of the emotions coursing through her body and understand the things that she couldn't say.

She pulled away and looked into his eyes and knew that he did. She lay down and pulled him down next to her. She lay her head on his chest right over his heart, and felt him press a kiss on the top of her head as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Stay?" She whispered sleepily.

"Always," he murmured.

So maybe there were some things in her relationship with Seth that she wasn't ready to face yet. Maybe she wouldn't be able to break her habit of fearing for the worst. None of those things were important to Summer right now. What was important to her is the fact that she was lying in Seth's arms, and she was happy.

For the first time in a long time, Summer was going to stop fearing the future and start enjoying the moment. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep listening to the soft beat of Seth's heart beneath her.

AN2: About the title. It's Latin, it means 'I understand that I understand'. I feel that phrase reflects what Summer is feeling in this story and her decision to live in the moment and not questions things, which is why I used it.

Yes, I was desperate for a title and googled Latin phrases, hoping to find something catchy and appropriate. : )


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